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JOKE OF THE DAY

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derek View Drop Down
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Joined: 26 May 2016
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Post Options Post Options   Quote derek Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: 29 April 2019 at 22:10
Three engineering students are arguing over who designed the human body. One student insists that the human body was designed by an electrical engineer because of the perfection of the nerves and synapses. The second disagrees and says it was a mechanical engineer who designed the human body as an ingenious system of levers and pulleys. The third student says, "You're both wrong, it was a civil engineer. Who else would have put a toxic waste pipe through a recreation area?".
I couldn't stay away - but I will be posting much less this time so as not to offend those with delicate sensibilities :-)
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staples View Drop Down
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Post Options Post Options   Quote staples Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: 18 June 2019 at 23:37
What is green and would kill you if it fell out of a tree?

[A snooker table]

Sorry, couldn't stay away!  Thank you to everyone who has contributed  Thumbs Up
fair play
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Post Options Post Options   Quote staples Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: 19 June 2019 at 22:00
Last one for a while as I have to go into hospital...

A magician works on a cruise ship.  The audience is different every week so he does the same tricks over and over again. However, the captain's parrot sees the same show every week and soon gets bored. It even starts heckling and giving away the magician's secrets. 'look, it's not the same hat! He's hiding the flowers under the table. Hey, why are all the cards the ace of spades?...'

The magician is furious but can't do anything about it and the situation continues until the ship hits a reef and sinks. He finds himself floating on a piece of wreckage with only the parrot for company.

They both stare at each other in mutual hatred but don't utter a word.  This goes on for a whole day, then another, and another, until on the fourth day the parrot can no longer contain itself. 'Okay,' it says, 'I give up. What did you do with the bloody ship?'


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LOTSA View Drop Down
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Post Options Post Options   Quote LOTSA Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: 20 June 2019 at 22:15
Best wishes for a short but successful hospital visit  Clown

Come back soon.
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